I was in a space to answer your call. Hearing your voice made me both happy and sad. Of, course the conversation went where it should have as there was a recap of the last few days.
Although I have always known, it was clear that for some things we will never see eye to eye.
The weekend of your birthday was lovely. We had an amazing time on Saturday and on Sunday at the roots was amazing. We were BE in true form. Hugging, kissing, dancing and just happy.
My friends told me how happy they were to see us so happy. As you know, when we are good, we do make people happy.
Monday your actual birthday was good for most of the day. I left to take Kyle to the park and to get you cupcakes and was excited about the lighting of the candle when you got back from the concert.
I asked you to call me when you leave the house and you didn't. Of course you will never understand the importance of those little things as you view them as something else. To me, calling or touching base is just another way to say connected. To share your day with me.
Of course, I was disappointed but I called we talked and I was good. I even prayed that the rain would go away so you can enjoy the concert.
When you came home it started because you heard "something in my voice" upon calling. You immediately came to a negative conclusion and placed a downer on our evening.
The Brian, I know and married isn't this sensitive self absorb man that you are today. The Brian i know, would try to get me to laugh or say something positive not go into his shell because he felt something was off. The Brian I know is much more confident so the little things that often cause tension in our marriage would be ignored.
This is an observation but I noticed whenever you drink everything is heighten. Maybe alcohol is affecting your body differently. You have lost a lot of weight and older. Often, i will call you in a normal voice and you will shouting. Or little things become big unimportant things. you are extremely sensitive and volatile.
On Tuesday, you found it necessary to go out. I was hoping you would hang out with me and the boys and kinda leave a positive feeling. We were not considered at all. Think it was more important for you to go play pool with Jonathon.
I wonder if you ever truly think about how I feel. Whenever we did things it is often me who initiates. Have you ever though about just doing something special for me or taking me out. How about fixing a nice dinner just because? Flowers?
Yet I am your wife and you love me.
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